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Our history cycle this year marches through the Middle Ages, starting with the fall of Rome and ending with the Reformation. The rise of Islam, Vikings, Monks copying the Bible, stained glass windows, castles, knights and peasant life have invaded our living room and art gallery. To accompany what we do at home, the home school co-op we're apart of memorizes a history sentence each week that takes place during this time period. One week the sentence told the story of William the Conqueror defeating King Harold and the beginning of feudalism. The kids loved memorizing this with the help of a catchy tune, although they didn't know the background to the story yet. One rainy morning we read our history together nestled in a "tent" in the boy's room. I read about how this man named William and this other man named Harold were fighting for the English crown. Both felt they should rightly inherit the throne and no one was backing down without a fight. Not til the very end did the story say "William the Conqueror" and "King Harold". At the moment of realization, the kids popped up from under the covers with a light bulb going off in their head and all started singing the history sentence in unison! It was a hilarious sight!

I shared a similar enthusiasm of connecting the dots as I was preparing what to say in Africa. How was I to share anything beneficial to a group of ladies I neither knew nor understood? I realized that it would only come from the Holy Spirit. This would not come from ME. These ladies would teach me far more than any nugget of wisdom I may bring. As I prayed and sat quietly before the Lord, asking Him to reveal what message He had for me to bring, His words began flooding my heart and pouring onto the paper in front of me. I cannot share the entire message, however one passage of scripture and biblical truth still rings in my ears and stirs my heart today. A message that never grows old, although it dates back to a tiny Old Testament book.

Adam went to Africa to build. Build. We're all building something. Either we're building or we're allowing to tear down by natural erosion. Have you ever paralleled building a physical structure to building a spiritual structure? Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Building... Matthew 7:24-27 gives us another look into some wise and foolish builders. But my new favorite, a jewel that God showed me is in the Old Testament Minor Prophet book of Haggai. Haggai 1:1-11 spoke so loudly and clearly to me that I couldn't wait to share this treasure with the ladies on the other side of the world. Have you ever felt like you worked and worked and tried your absolute hardest to do something only to feel as if you were putting that prized possession into a bag with holes in it? Or to work and have it all blow away like a dandelion seed? The Lord says, do you want to know why? Verse 9 says, "Because of my house which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house." OH. We don't have to be living in luxury for this to apply to us. Where is the temple now? In each of us who call on the name of the Lord as our Savior. God wants us focused on building His house, not our own. He wants to me my Provider.

The Books of Genesis-Revelation hold the most important information for our everyday living. We can read them as eagerly as an old love note, for that is what they are. Come to God as a child, even as one who's memorized John 3:16 or any other verse. Open the pages, read the background story and watch how your spirit comes alive, just as my kids did when what they memorized came full circle and made since.  If a history book can do that, God's Word can do it bigger!

Yarn and the Yearning

When I turned 5 years old a sweet friend of my mom gave me a tadpole for my birthday. It was a special mail order kind, so I received a tadpole in the mailbox. I aptly named him Timmy and enjoyed watching him tun into a frog. He lived in a small aquarium perched atop my bathroom counter. Since I am an only child I talked regularly with Timmy and we shared many life events together. He died when I was 24!

So when Caleb turned 5, (Timmy had only been gone a few years) I wanted to pass along the experience. At Christmas, Santa left a tadpole for my kids to love and watch transform. This they did and after a few years  I was told Gilly needed a friend. So again, Santa left behind another another tadpole gift. When this one arrived, the kids chose the name Caspian after their favorite series at the time "The Chronicles of Narnia". Caspian was so cute and tiny compared to our larger frog.  Zach found it most interesting to watch him grow and announced regularly his growth progress. One evening as we were heading to bed, Zach (3) runs in our room full of excitement and expressively says, "Mom, Caspian is a frog! I'm serious. He made hisself into a FROG!"

One week ago, Adam and I stepped off a plane that took us all the way to Africa - and home again. The way that journey began and how God confirmed that we were both to go this year reminds me a lot of that story. Adam has been to Africa for 3 years now. Last year when he got home I said "You're not going by yourself again! If you go, I'm going too." So all year we planned to go together. However, when the trip was put together it was too long and more expensive than we thought-or could afford. So with a heavy heart we had to make the call that this year wasn't for us to go. Not long after that, we got news that the trip had been shortened to only being out one full work week, and the prices lowered after going with a different airline and fight plan. So we prayed about it again. The deadline came to purchase the tickets and we still did not have the money for it. We fully believed that if we were to go this year, God would provide the funds needed for the ticket in time.

We were not going to presume, so wholeheartedly prayed that God would show us. The next morning, the money was provided for us! As the tickets were purchased, Adam and I looked at each other and said, "We're going to Africa together! I'm serious, we really are. God provided a way!" God poured in enough financial support to meet every need on this trip - to the amazement of the whole team, we watched as He truly fashioned this group who went. Some who have never taught stepped up to teach pastors at the Pastor's conference; truly committing to do what''s uncomfortable.

For myself the task now focused on what do I speak about? I will have 3 one hour sessions covering marriage and family to a group of ladies I've never met, and in a country I've never been to. A peace followed that moment of anxiety when I realized the Lord I worship here, is the same in Africa. He doesn't change just because I cross state lines or American soil. He doesn't need a passport. He is God HERE and He is God THERE. The I AM that I AM.

So on that foundation I began to pray for the women I would meet and for God to give me His words to speak to them that would connect and apply to them, where they are. Let me say, the Lord is faithful! He supplied me with words, enabled me to speak those words and I believe they fell on hungry ears and hearts. I felt so inadequate and humbled to stand before them and speak anything because they were teaching me so much. Watching them pick up crocheting so easily and taking the basic single stitch we showed them and turning it into bags, hats, table runners, booties - was proof again how God takes what we give to Him and He produces far more than we fathom possible. The ladies were all so tremendously blessed to have a skein of yarn to call their own, a blessing made possible by the abundant provisions of God through friends here.

It's in those "Caspian's a frog!" moments in life we see a tiny glimpse of God's magnitude. It leaves us speechless and breathless.

eXcellence

I love how the Lord has us all on our own journey. A pilgrimage that begins when we are born and extends until He calls us home. The Lord has a plan for what He's going to do in our lives. He's prepared us all for good works. It brings me great joy to watch my children begin their journey. From birth each has shown their unique personality. Watching that personality mature over the years is one of the biggest blessings for me as a mom! It keeps me in prayer for sure. Prayer for God's protection over them, and also for Him to use them according to His will, with the strengths and talents He's woven into each one. My oldest child, who is overflowing with passion each day upon rising (and since birth!) was in Cub Scouts one year. It was Derby race time! He and his daddy worked hard on that little block of wood to make it smooth, sleek and fast. Caleb was oozing with pride as he showed me the car and you could see victory written across his forehead. He was already thinking where he would put the trophy and practicing his smile. Did I mention this was our first time with this group? We didn't know what the track looked like, or if you got to practice beforehand. We didn't know any tricks. As the cars start racing, we see several things we could've done differently. When Caleb's is placed at the starting line, we soon realize, this may not end well. Caleb ended up placing 4th place out of 5. He is fighting back tears on the way out to the truck. On the way home he says, "Dad, I never even considered not winning!"

Poor guy, had a dose of reality! On the track of life, similar lessons are learned. Proverbs 19:2 says, "It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way." God has led me to that verse so many times, as I'm pretty sure I know where my passionate boy got some of his genes from. When I see something that I want to do, or needs to be done, I dive right in, regardless if I know how to swim or not! It's all or nothing. How this verse encourages me is that it's OK to have zeal, but knowledge is necessary too. Otherwise, I'm going to get off track. When I take the time to do the research or bum off someone else who LOVES to do research...take a day to pray before saying "Yes"...read the directions.... or the preface...I submit myself to God's plan and not my own.

In everything, there's balance. Extremes can always be dangerous. Recently God balanced that verse for me with Romans 12:11-12, "Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord." Sometimes situations ignite a fire in my heart and I have a passionate opinion about it. To which I wonder if I am just OVERBOARD and need to apologize! One night I had asked the Lord to show me if I was in the wrong about a certain viewpoint about which I was passionate about. I asked the Lord to thump me on the head if I was wrong. That's when He showed me this verse. It made me smile. When wrapped in Him, our passions bring Him Glory. Paul was passionate - against the Truth and then for the Truth. God showed me to be Passionate for Him - for there is no One greater!

Proverbs 21:31 sums up Caleb's experience and speaks to me as well:
"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord."

What do you like?

The scene is classic. It has been in everyone's home. Mom prepares a splendid dinner, carefully planned and beautifully executed. Antique plates and matching saucers adorn the white linen-clothed table. The napkins are set, cutlery dispersed. All that is lacking are the people. As the family gathers and take their places, grace is said, and the food is served. As if a baseball had just crashed through the family room's window, the 4 year old cries, "Yuck, I hate this meal!!!" The whining escalates, "Mommy, I don't like this at all." The emotions continue to rise.... You can fill in the story from here.

No matter how you handle dinner time woes, we can't ignore the fact that we all definitely have our list of things we like and things we don't like. As a mom, I try to be gracious at the table and understand if someone's favorite isn't mashed potatoes. They don't have to be your favorite, but you can take a few bites without a grumpy face. I know that as their little taste buds are forming, preferences change and also you don't know if you truly love something until you've had it 5 or so times. But the fact still remains no matter... sometimes we just don't like tomatoes no matter how many times we've tried them.

That train of thought led me to thinking how the God who formed the Universe also created in me my likes and dislikes. He formed my personality, my strong will, my passion for things. When yielded to Him, our inclinations and even our distastes can be used by Him to direct our paths and even steer us from danger. Think of how in pregnancy our senses are heightened. Particularly the sense of smell and taste. If you are curious if the left overs have spoiled, just ask the mother-to-be!! In the same way, God can use our passions to show us His calling on our life. There was a time when I had an extreme dislike for how one area of our life was going. I didn't like how things were being handled and on and on the list went. Adam and I griped and griped about it for months. We didn't see anything bibically wrong, it was just our life situation and strong personal preference. So we decided that instead of continually griping about it (Mommy, I don't like this!!!) we would change that area of our life. Harmony soon  followed.... yeah! Not too long after, we watch something like a lead weight hit the area where we were, and had we stayed, we'd have been hit too. In our case, our strong inclinations and passions served to protect our family.

I think the best word here is Convictions. Follow those God-instilled convictions. It may even be over little details. Have you heard William Tyndale's story?  If he hadn't been passionately convicted to translate the Bible into English, no matter what the cost, we may still have to know Latin to read the scriptures. Tyndale gave his life for those translations, and I bet he was a passionate 4 yr old who had his moments at the dinner table!!

Voices

I was out having an enjoyable evening to myself and Adam was home in charge of the "minions". Tonight he would tuck them in bed and I would unlock the door and enter into a quiet house. I love bed time with the kids - reading together, praying and back scratching, then watching them disappear under the spread of covers. I also enjoy the rare occasion when someone ELSE gets that privilege! When I returned that evening, Adam gave me the run down on what all took place...who did what, funny highlights, etc. When he got to bedtime he stuck out his finger at me, changed his voice and face to imitate a child's and said ," And Zach made me promise that when you got home, you would give him a kiss he can FEEL!" Awww, a feelable kiss is better than a non-feelable one!

Again, I learn from my kids. I have asked God in my prayers similar questions. Lord, will you show me what to do here?! Lord, I pray you provide what we need right now. To me, those are like asking for a "kiss I can feel". Asking God to make an impression on my clay pot so that I know it's Him and not me. Isn't that what faith is all about? Believing what we do not see. Zach believed I would come give him a kiss. Do you think I did - YES! That very moment! So, when I ask God for strength under pressure, clarity amidst the murky, or help for the insurmountable, I'm asking in faith, as a child to my Heavenly Daddy who is always FAITHFUL. That is His name. He too will answer His child with His best in mind. My choice from there is to choose to believe it's His best for me instead of believing a lie that His's keeping something good from me. Just because life is bumpy and rocky with many twists and turns I don't understand, I don't have to. I can rest in His Sovereignty. Just as my kids have to do when they don't understand why I say "No" to certain things, or allow them to struggle with something, knowing it's for their best for them to figure out. Let James 1:2-4,12 speak to you as it did me.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."

Zach still woke up that next morning and asked me if I gave him a kiss - to which I said "YES"! And I think so many times I wake up and say Lord, is this your answer? To which we both rest in the assurance given. He is FAITHFUL! Amen.

Uncovered

There's a store nearby that our family has paid our LAST visit to. Due to completely personal reasons, we have decided that instead of grumbling and complaining every time we pulled in the parking lot, we would simply shop elsewhere. The decision has been wonderful! My daughter made an insightful observation because of our experience that has spiritual application as well. She said, "_______ is just a nasty store. They try to make their stuff look nice but it's just nasty stuff in a nasty store. It's just like our bodies - we try to make them look nice, but inside we're just nasty."

I promise I didn't add anything to her comment! After I heard her say it, I ran to grab my quote book and a pen, repeating her phrase over in my head. Which is funny, because she doesn't just say things once, so she was following me,  repeating it as well! Anyway, I thought those were strong and sobering words from a 7 year old. However, I agree with her assessment. What a wretched woman I am. At the core, because of sin, my every inclination pulls towards self. Only because of God's grace and mercy through His Son Jesus Christ do I have any hope of doing or living any other way than to please myself. When I look at it that way, no wonder I mess up! No wonder I fail and stumble. And no wonder others have failed and hurt me. Thank you Lord for your grace that takes my fallible human effort and uses it by Your power for Your glory.

I see something else when I look through life using those lenses. Paul says it best in 1 Tim 1:13:
 "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst."

Who is Paul exalting in that statement? Himself or Christ? Christ! When we see Christ for who He truly is, we also see ourselves for who we truly are. When I'm in that position, the plank in my eye is obstructing my vision a whole lot more than the speck in my brothers. Now the gospel message can be shared with grace and truth, free of condemnation. It's not about me and my record, its about Him and His love and finished work on the cross. His love has covered all our sins. When I see it that way, my nose comes back down out of the loftiness that my self-righteousness can place it and meets people lovingly where they are. To finish Paul's statement in the next verse,

 "But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."

I'm thankful to have a store to stand as a reminder that Jesus is the only One who covers up my nasty heart!

Truth and Twizzlers

Webster defines the word Freedom as the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action...

If you've ever wallowed in wonderment of a situation, you know the relief truth brings. It's that moment when, no matter how monstrous, you can handle life now because you're dealing with facts and not just bits and pieces and streams of emotion. I remember being told as a child and now repeat as a parent that I can handle anything you've done as long as you tell me the truth. The reason this equation works is because the truth sets free. It releases captives...the lies and hidden motives at work. Truth is what we crave; it is what we earnestly seek after. Truth is sown into the fabric of being by our Creator. As a result, the enemy of our soul sets out to destroy and distort it. He tells us,"What is truth anyway? Is that really the Truth? It may be truth for them but not for you!" The only way to counter these types of lies is with the solid, unchanging, living and active Word of God. Here's what Jesus says, 

"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" John 8:31-32

Jesus knew what the culture said then and now about truth and He knew we needed to know this. True freedom is found in the Truth! Any other rock we look under will only hold chains and shackles no matter how it's disguised!

I have a precious rule follower in my house. He's growing in grace, but still makes an excellent police officer. He's the kind who would to sit at the edge of the speed limit reduced sign and make sure we all slow down appropriately. Well, he's been on a kick about eating the exact serving size of candy bars, chips, etc. He'll count out or measure his chips and cereal according to the package label. He just likes knowing how much they say is 1 serving, then he can say, "I had 1 serving!" So one day, he used his own money to buy his favorite candy. He brought it home and excitedly unwrapped it. Then he turns the crinkly package over to see what the serving size says and he responds, "It stinks that the Twizzlers serving size is only 6, especially when it's a king size bag!" He's figuring up in his head how long it will take him to consume the whole favored package. Now, he was "free" to eat the whole thing, but it would've made him sick and he knew that.

Ps 16:5-6 "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

In the same way, we are "free" to run after other gods, to pursue selfish gain and ignore the Word of the Lord, just as Israel did. But I hope you're ready for similar tummy-aching consequences for those decisions! When we begin to exchange the truth of God for a lie we go outside His boundary lines and into slavery and bondage, which He never desires for us. For that is why Jesus came! He came to free us from the bonds of slavery sin causes. May our lives be testimony of the liberating power of Christ! May we be men and women of Truth. 

Squeezed

Sometimes life has the amazing ability to just be really hard. I try to be optimistic and find the good in all situations; to not grumble and complain - but sometimes, the school of life just slaps you across the face and tells you to "SIT DOWN"! It's those times when there's at least one puzzle piece missing (feels like more) that I cannot see. I can look in hindsight and see how the pieces have linked together. I can look ahead and make out a faint sketch of what is to come, but right in front of me - there's just no piece that fits! I've tried them all. It's a lot like our last family vacation. The one where we drove 11 hours the first day, 7 the next few days and 18 hours straight home. We heard questions like, "Where are we going today, Mom?" Mom answers... "Well how far is that?" A few minutes later, "How much further....Are we there yet?" Those are natural, trying to get my bearings questions. Thankfully, we weren't the first explorers to travel to New Mexico, Arizona and Colorado, so we have a general idea of how far, how long and where to stop along the way. In the same way, the ancients of our faith have also traveled this life and left behind nuggets of truth, encouragement and wisdom for our walk today.

When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, after the plagues and finally the Passover, they had no idea what obstacle they were going to meet first. Right out of the gate, they reach a chasm in their life puzzle called The Red Sea. What do we do now Lord?! Take me back to Egypt! The Lord directed Moses to raise his staff and stretch it over the water. From there I always think they just hopped ashore and watched their enemies splash to their demise. But that's not exactly how it happened. That's not the whole story. To stop there would be missing a huge piece to the puzzle. The piece where God shows His glory. So God parts the waters and sends His pillar of cloud BEHIND the Isrealites to protect them from the ensuing army. All night long they walked through the sea. Walls of water to their right and left. Walk... walk...walk. With no one mentioning the fact that at any moment the waters could return back and swallow them all up whole!

 Exodus 14:24 says, "During the last watch of the night the Lord looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and thew it into confusion. He made the wheels of their chariots come off so that they had difficulty driving. And the Egyptians said, 'Let's get away from the Israelites! The Lord is fighting for them against Egypt.'"

There are times I've seen the Lord perform miracles and "part the waters" for our family. There's also times, I'm learning, He sends His pillar of fire behind us, putting distance between us and our enemy; shining light to us, but darkness to them. In those situations, when I'm walking through the oooey, gooey seaweed covered land with jellyfish to my right and left, we can only keep putting one foot in front of the other, and trusting God do the fighting and let Him get the glory. The Israelites walked all night. I may walk for awhile, but at the last watch, God will show up and deliver His people.

O Lord, Are we there yet?!

Righteous will Live by Faith

I am not tech savvy. I do not like figuring out computer issues, nor understand routers, modems and wireless connections. I do not like a computer thinking it knows what I need because its "creator" pre-programmed the inputs and outputs a certain way. In the words of Dr Seuss, "I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am!" Unfortunately for me - and the rest of my family at times - the use of computers and spiffy technology is unavoidable. A while back our printer bit the dust, so its replacement, un-be known to me at the time turned out to be a "smart printer". Smart printers really aren't that smart. After every other print session, it does thing called an "all systems check". Which basically means it makes a lot of noise, clicks and clacks and is unavailable for a while! Which can be very frustrating when you have several things to print out and you weren't planning on it taking all afternoon! Well that's the situation my son, Caleb entered upon. This was not a new situation for him either. He quickly surveyed the situation and issues his diagnosis: "There's smart phones, smart printers and smart cars, now all we need are smart people!!" Hallelujah, Caleb you hit the nail on the head for me! Is it just me or do all these "advancements" and "smart" equipment leave you feeling really...dumb?!

Now I'm sure we could make a strong case on is civilization growing dumber rather than smarter, but that's not quite the angle I'm coming from. As I look through the pages of God's timeless Word, I find really, not much has changed. Jesus spoke to the people using parables so they could understand - and many still didn't. He clearly referred to his death and gave His disciples specific instructions as to what to do. They still responded with the deer in the headlight look or had the audacity to ask to sit at His right and left in Glory. The Pharisees, though well educated and a prominent leader in society had the hardest hearts around. Ecclesiastes rings true again... "There's nothing new under the sun."

Jesus said of His crowd in Mat 13:13 "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing they do not understand."

I just finished reading a book called Lessons I Learned in the Dark: Steps to Walking by Faith, not by Sight by Jennifer Rothschild, who's been blind since High School. Her book discusses her walk through blindness and the lessons God has taught her as she exercises faith everyday. In closing she says this, "The greatest handicap you can have is for it not to be well with your soul. To allow your circumstances to blind you to the infinite goodness of God is far more debilitation then physical darkness."

Jesus didn't choose the smart people of His day to be his disciples. He chose humble fisherman. Rich or poor, philosopher or lay-man, young or old, God's call is still the same. It's "Come and follow Me." There's no app for that or a pre-programmed button. Just a leap of faith. Have YOU responded yet?

Quite, Quiet, QUIT!!

"Tickle me Daddy, tickle me!" squeals a bubbling over contagious giggler of about 3 years of age. As the arms descend upon the anticipated ticklish spot, the request changes to, "Stop...Daddy....Stop....Tickling... Me!"By this time, he's barely able to speak - spluttering, kicking - the usual hilarious scene.
"Tickle me Daddy, tickle me! No, no, stop tickling me!"

In many of my prayers, I ask the Lord to grant me strength for the day. I ask for His wisdom to shepherd my children along the path of righteousness. I need His insight and understanding into their hearts and the ability to discern the under currents swirling around me. Also, not forgetting joy and peace in all situations; that God's light would shine through me and our family. So when I find myself in a situation where my children are continually picking at one another, starving animals because the chores are undone, clothes I asked to be folded, scattered about the floor, cementing breakfast dishes still on the table, and the clock telling me it's almost noon... I think, Lord, we are so far from where I'm striving to be! What is going on?! I can't do this! I am a failure.

My early envisions of being a mother consisted of the fuzzy precious moments holding a sleeping baby while the 3 year old sibling snuggles under my other arm and whispers "I love you". All the while my oldest child clears the table and wipes down the counter, then asks what else he can to serve me! As a homeschooling family my thoughts went something like children pouring over their books, eager for every word and losing sleep at the thought of learning fractions tomorrow. We would work together as a team to accomplish a project and cheer each other on as we build - "Tickle me Daddy, tickle me!"

And for a small fraction of time those beautiful moments do happen. But what I didn't configure or imagine was the in-between stuff to make it happen. AKA, reality! The sleeping baby eventually awakens and stays up all night. The 3 year old who came to snuggle with me was covered in some kind of goo he found and gave the baby a rash. The family project we worked on - maybe it's finished, but now there's permanent marker on the floor, glue on the walls, cut paper strips everywhere and we can't find the table! Plus Dad's coming home for lunch in 10 minutes! AAAHHHH! "No, Daddy, stop tickling me!"

I find that the ebb and flow of parenting and homeschooling can leave me feeling as if the tide just went out and left me with all the broken shells and junk from the water. I feel exposed - my weakness and inabilities laying bare for all to see and pick up. Paul says in 2 Cor 11:30, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." Wow! I don't want to boast of my weakness! I would just rather not have them! But it's in these weaknesses - the "No Daddy, stop tickling me" moments where the Power of Christ is made perfect in me. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10) And, that is only accomplished by the Power of God!

Pretty Scales

Enthrall: verb. to hold spellbound;captivate. Absorb, charm, hook, intrigue, mesmerize....

What enthralls us? What holds us spellbound, captivated? Intrigues our attention, mesmerizes our thoughts as to drown out all else around? Adam and I were watching an old Andy Griffith show the other night and they used that word to describe the beauty of a tropical island, surrounded by turquoise

waters and studded with swaying palm trees. One of the characters dropped all he knew and flew there to live an easy, carefree life with no deadlines, alarm clocks or mundane tasks. Just stare at the ocean and swing on a hammock...for that's all you need in life. Unfortunately his stay was short-lived, after seeing the crusty, unfulfilled effects of prolonged island life on the other inhabitants, he hopped aboard the first plane back home. So maybe he took it a little overboard, but God's creation does enthrall us. That's what it's meant to do! When I look at the mountains, I see God's glory, not an end result of millions of years. The stars pour out speech of His infinite power. The seas, and all the life within, flow of his faithfulness and all sustaining power. I stand enthralled at His beauty.

With that in mind, I came across a scripture passage that spoke loudly to me. Ps.45:11 NIV says, "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." I am beautiful to my King! He created me by design and on purpose and He looked at me and called me "good". I am precious and honored by Him. No matter what the outside appearance reveals, I am laid bare before him and beautiful. I am His child, a daughter of the King; He is my Savior. Commercials advertise "age-defying" moisturizer, and wrinkle covering make-up, fashion minded shirts and pants to cover the imperfections of our figure. Underneath all that still lies who we are as a person. Nothing can cover up or embellish who Julie Steck is. God sees past it all, into our hearts. Like the woman at the well, caught in sin. Jesus saw her beauty as one of His daughters and extended His love and grace to her, telling her to drink from Him, the source of Living Water. He explained to her how those who drink the water from the well they were sitting at would be thirsty again. However, those who drink the water He supplies will be fully satisfied and never thirsty. (John 4) Now before we all let the well run dry, consider the spiritual meaning of those words.

My sweet daughter, Mackenzie used to tell me, "Mommy, you're pretty in scales." Which she picked up from Adam telling me I was covering up all my pretty with make-up. She jumped on his train of thought and scales was as bare-boned as she could think of, so coined that phrase. While I kinda like the sprucing up make-up and fixed hair add, I do appreciate the reminder that it's not about the outward appearance, it's about the heart. Under it all are just scales...and they are beautiful to my Maker.

OOPS....NEVER-MIND!

I remember playing Nintendo games growing up. When my game wasn't going how I anticipated, I would reach over and push the reset button and just start over! Never-rmind, I'll show you, you stupid game! Well that's what came to mind when Zach coined this comical phrase. He will start randomly calling out, "Hey Daddy..." "Yes, son," Dad replies. *Pause* *Pause* *Pause* As if he was thinking something really important, our anticipation rising. Then finally, "Never- mind!" "OOOHH goodness, you got me buddy," we have to reply as the anticipation drops to the floor. He even likes to change it up a bit to really catch you off guard. "Hey Mom," he hollers from another room. " Yeah," I say. I'll hear him come charging towards me and peek his head in, "Never-mind!" "GGGGRRRRR, I'll get you," I say, which is probably why he does it in the first place. He likes the response he gets, the little jokester!

While Zach likes the game, I mused at how I'd like to pull that card out of the deck of life sometimes. Like when I blow it and really fly off the handle at someone....OOPS, Never-mind! Or go shopping and come home with lots more than I really need.... OOPS, Never-mind that bill honey! Or when I commit to doing something and really don't have the time or ability to follow through.... OOPS! Did I say that?! Never-mind me! I sometimes encourage my kids to "start-over" when their question or answer had a funny twang to it that didn't sit right with me. But do I allow myself the grace to start over? How can I begin anew when I've really messed things up? When I've been walking down a road that I should've turned around miles ago? Where do I go? To the Restorer of broken dreams. My Kinsman Redeemer. The One who says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten...Then you will know....that I am the Lord your God, and there is  no other; never again will my people be shamed" (Joel 2:25, 27) 

The times I mess up, the foolish choices I make no matter how big or small - God restores them. He's like a painter who find a beautiful original painting at the bottom of a rubbish heap. He identifies the painting for what it is, gently lifts it up out of the ashes and takes it home. After weeks, or months, or even years, he's cleaned it all up. He's touched up the color that was faded or chipped, the background that was torn. He takes His time, scraping away the ugly from years of misuse or tragedy and reapplying what is needed to finally present it restored, even beyond it's original beauty. He trades the ashes for beauty. And the best part is it's never too late. "Even now, declares the Lord, return to me with all your heart..." (Joel 2:12) He is the restorer of what the locusts eat. In other words what, comes in and devours my best efforts in one fierce swoop. What other god can match that? OOPS, never-mind.... NO ONE!!

Natural Reflections

My son once told me, "Cars are like shoes and trucks are like boots." I've reveled Caleb's natural, sixth sense of categories since he was 9 months old. I remember reading one of his picture books together and he pointed eagerly to a bar of soap and washcloth on the page. He immediately closed the book, grabbed my hand and insisted we walk down the hall to his bathroom where there was also a bar of soap and washcloth draped over the tub. Words weren't even necessary for me to know he'd connected the dots!

So now it's my turn to make a connection. His statement remind me of Solomon's words in Ecclesiastes 3, which has brought me great comfort this past week with the passing of my grandmother. Here's what it says in verses 1-8 : "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."

I'm so comforted to know that God understands the stages of life - and proves Himself all sufficient through them all. God, who's original plan was not that we should die, for that is what sin brought into this world. Yet He never turns His back on us and is there to heal every hurt this fallen world inflicts. I praise Him for that!

Throughout this past week of witnessing the last days of my grandmother, I see so many parallels to the beginning of life and the end. And Ecclesiastes confirms there's a time for both. God has appointed for us all a time to live the life He's given us and a time when He calls us home. There was a time my grandmother would've healed from a shoulder injury, but this time she didn't. (vs. 3) There's a time to search out the answers to life's questions and a time to just let it be.

A sweet friend told my tearful, apologetic Grandfather, "It's OK to cry. It's a time to cry." (vs 4) And it is! I'm so thankful God is with me - us, in our time of mourning. We won't mourn forever, because it says in Psalm 30:11 "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." I can rejoice in so many things, - memories, friends, but most of all because God is good. His goodness endures forever. Caleb's cars, trucks, boots and shoes will soon be in the "time to throw away" category, but those who trust in the Lord may fall asleep in this world, but awake to an eternal home that never spoils, fades or perishes!! Amen!

My Meme - "I think of God when I think of Meme" ~ Mackenzie

Julie: "Papa, can I come over?"

Papa: "What! No...we're not home! **PAUSE** Marilon, there's a little rug-rat calling wanting to come over, aren't we busy!?"

Meme: "Ahh, no, I don't think so!"

Papa: "OK, guess we're not busy. Come on over."
Followed by, "Honey, you know you can come over here anytime!"

As I walked, skipped or jumped rope the 3/4 mile to my grandparents house, I always knew I was walking into a place where I was loved. They would drop any and everything they were doing to entertain their granddaughter, no matter how old I got. Living at Holly Lake Ranch, I frequently caddied them around the golf course, swam in the near-by pool, (where Adam and I eventually met), shot some hoops, sandied our feet in the volleyball courts or laughed at my attempts at putt-putt. In my teen years, my Grandfather would take me out in his old '79 silver, single cab, no a/c standard transmission Dodge Ram pick up truck. He'd drive me out to where the hills looked like mountains, and half way up he'd pull up the emergency brake and tell me it was my turn to drive. I'm surprised the whip lash didn't permanently damage him! I eventually learned, but not without being completely embarrassed, as there were usually casual walkers or joggers observing the whole thing.

Meanwhile, back at home, Meme would be fixing dinner and starting some homemade ice-cream. She had a recipe, but always improvised, so we all had to taste test it and usually add a little more vanilla or sugar. Then into the churner it went and we could only wait eagerly with watering mouths for that first bite of creamy, vanilla ice cream drizzled with chocolate but made with love.

My Grandmother is the fulfillment of 1 Peter 4:9, "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." She'd welcome anyone into her home, fix them a marvelous meal, prop their feet up, bandage their wounds, or soothe their aches and leave them feeling as if they hung the moon. She truly modeled what a servant's heart looks like in everyday life. Never whining, nor complaining, nothing too hard, too small, tall or large for her to tackle. Yet I don't believe she ever realized just how amazing she was at it all. She could sew clothes, mend curtains, change the upholstery - then go play a tennis match, round of golf or a hand of bridge.

My Meme suffered a terrible loss when her daughter Cindy passed away back in 2005. She fought for her life for a year in the hospital and my grandparents never left her side. When Jesus took Cindy home, Meme was never the same again. She had truly spent all of her life on others. Now, it was our turn to serve and give of ourselves to her. Every day tasks like dressing and eating became difficult and required help. Frustrations and exhaustion - questions - decisions. When last Saturday I got an early 8:00 call from my granddad, who now lives across the road from us, "Meme's fallen and hurt her shoulder," he says, "I think we need to take her in." She has fractured her shoulder on the outside, but on the inside, I believe Jesus is preparing her for Home. "O God take me," she has cried. I wonder if she sees glimpses of Heavenly glory and then when she opens her eyes and finds herself still in the hospital bed, her heart aches. There's such pain, heartache and suffering in this life. But thanks be to God that He's preparing mansions in glory for us! When He calls my precious Meme home, she will feel no more pain! Her shoulder will be restored and she will trade her old, worn out body for a new imperishable one! As Mackenzie (5 at the time) sums it all up, "I think of God when I think of Meme." What a legacy of being a godly woman she passes on to us.

Limitations of the Yarn Wad!

I was stressing over a birthday party. The day was here and my check-list needed checking off! Balloons blown, streamers strung, cake unveiled, plates, cups and napkins unwrapped. Thankfully my mom was here to help! Something I needed required a little bit of string. I envision one in my head I'd seen recently and remembered seeing it last passing from my hand to Caleb's. Oh no! So, I call him over and describe the piece of string I'm after and asked him to find it for dear ole Mom. A few minutes later - it had been awhile and I'm distracted with other decorations - he come in huffing and puffing, "Here Mom, I found it. You're... just gonna have to deal with it," A ball of wadded up tangled mess of different colored string falls in my lap. And if you've ever given string to a 3 year old boy before, you know what I'm talking about! "You're.... just gonna have to deal with it," was a phrase I'd used on him recently, trying to help him deal with situations not exactly going the way he carefully planned. He found a fitting situation to remind me - here it is, not how you want it, but you can deal with it too, Mom. :)

As I've studied the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon's words apply to my heart in this and other situations. I love to plan birthday parties or a craft project, line up a great field trip with favorite friends after studying a specific theme - but just because I put time and effort into planning, doesn't mean it will turn out flawless. So much of life is dealing with what's thrown at me. Sometimes literally! Like when my son's sick and I'd planned to run errands that day - well I guess now, we re-arrange and take it easy today so he can rest and run errands another time. Him getting well and my sanity is more important than those errand that day. Or, what about when life hits us with a sudden move, or job loss, a husband who walks out the door claiming never to return. How do we re-calculate when life throws a ball full of waded up string and you can't even tell where the end is to even start?

Ecclesiastes 1:14-15 says, "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted."

Why do I chase after the wind, seeking satisfaction in areas that when caught, hold only air? I can't straighten what's crooked in my life, but I can do what God's given for me to do and take care of today - leaving tomorrow to worry about itself. That's all I can do...and it's a choice we can all make.

I don't think I ever straightened out that ball of string Caleb gave me, and it turns out I survived without it! Even had a great a great party despite not having that string. I love how my kids teach me great truths!

Lord, teach us to depend on you, when life's easy and bountiful and when it's difficult and heartbreaking. You are still the same. Keep our eyes fixed on you that we would be fully satisfied and not easily swayed by chasing after the things this world flashes in front of us. In Jesus name.

Kindness and the Burrito Kid!

We finally have a snuggler in our family. It took 3 took get one, but we'll take him! Little Zach loves to be held, sit in my lap, or get under a blanket with a Curious George book and just snuggle. If he wakes up early enough, he will stumble into our room, all bleary-eyed, shaggy doggy in one arm and an angry bird tasseled toboggan on his head. He crawls up into the bed, repositions the covers just right to turn himself into a burrito and snuggles into a space carved out for him. With a big grin, sometimes he'll say, "Mommy, I just love you!" Ahh, it's a beautiful picture. Even though the moment can also can be followed up by screaming minutes later, due to some simple annoyance, I still cherish those words. He's also been known to throw that line out when I offer him some warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies, or other favorite snack at just the right time. "I just love you Mommy!" Whatever the reason, this is a fact: Momma's always love to hear their little ones say "I love you".

I believe Jesus also loves to hear us say "I love you." During a meal at Simon the Leper's house, while the teachers and chief priests were anxiously digging up any reason to arrest Jesus, we find a beautiful story of love nestled amongst the commotion. We have Jesus, reclining at the table, probably surrounded by men, when their conversations is interrupted by a woman. Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazaraus, comes in and breaks an alabaster jar of pure nard and pours it over Jesus' head. Can you imagine what the room, previously filled with the aroma of sweaty, dirty men, would smell like now? Well as the smell of lilies penetrates through their senses, the men's indignant voices scream out at the unashamed act of pure love and devotion. I imagine Mary blushing, embarrassed  not meaning to make a scene, just expressing her love to Jesus, when Jesus quickly silences them, "Leave her alone," he says. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me." (Mark 14:6) Before He was to pour out His love for us on the cross, Mary of Bethany poured out a year's worth of wages on Jesus. "I just love you, Jesus," she said. And her deed did not go un-repaid. To this day, we are still reading about it "wherever the gospel is preached." It meant something to Him.

"I just love you" comes without strings, "buts," or lists attached. Just pure unconditional love, as Jesus has for us. As Zach displays to me. I'm challenged to love Jesus like that today ~ I think those around me will appreciate it!

Night Vision

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower;the righteous run to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10


I'm going to diverge from writing about a quote this week. This past weekend our family went to visit my parents in Arkansas where we hiked, had picnics and enjoyed God's beautiful creation. The first night we stayed, the Lord interrupted my sleep with three dreams I will never forget and believe I'm supposed to share. It was more like a vision - as intense as real life. You may want to take a deep breath, sit down and ponder this yourself. Here we go...

I all started by me taking out a piece of meat from the kitchen. It was wrapped in white butcher paper and not even cold. I took it back into one of the kid's bedroom, which in my dream was my room. Now, in this dream, everything about my house remained intact, except that my bedroom was switched with Mackenzie's. It was night and I was home alone. I sat the wrapped meat on the bed and immediately the house was illuminated as with a black light. Things normally light turned dark and the dark world came alive. An image, resembling the "dark lord" from "The Lord of the Rings" movie appeared in the corner of the room, dressed in black. He (it) had no defined features - only holes that seemed to go on into eternity filled his frame. Out of him came shrieks and fire. This person personified evil and anything evil in the room became seen. I immediately ran out of the room, searching the living room for any other evidences of this evil. I saw none- although darkness covered the house. I crept back into the room and faced the evil once again, my heart pounding. When I hear an inner voice say, "Just say the name of Jesus." I raise my hands, close my eyes and whisper "Jesus". To which a white light, whiter than the hottest fire, begins to consume the Evil One in the corner and completely quenchless any other evidence of darkness. Now the room has turned to a brightness like the Morning Star! I look on the bed, and I'm still hold this meat. I began to cut it into pieces. I hear a voice say to me, "You have nothing to be afraid of. I have overcome it all. You are safe by the power of my name."

Here's where I wake up. Adam's still beside me at my parent's house. I almost wake him up and tell him the story. But I don't, and I drift back to sleep and into another dream -


This time I'm working at a gas station. As a carry-over from the previous dream, I'm still carrying the butcher paper wrapped meat, that doesn't require refrigeration. But now, I have been given a heavenly vision to see whether people are followers of the wicked prince or the Lamb of God. I see seals on their forehead or flames like the one in the corner of my room. Anyway, all the people I worked with were evil, wicked people. Their laughs rang out in my ear and I constantly tried to get away from their lure. But I realized, they weren't trying to get me - they were trying to steal my meat! I constantly had to "shoo" them away from where I kept my prized possession. A fellow church friend pulled into the parking lot for her daughter to sell some tickets for a fund raiser. I walked out into the parking lot to visit with her. After a minute, I felt this tug on my heart telling to go back inside. Upon entering, I find all my co-workers huddled around my meat - "NO!" I shout as I'm breaking through their circle. I grab my meat and run.

The third and last dream is simple. I'm sitting at a small, two person table in a restaurant sharing this whole experience with a close friend of mine. I remember trying to carefully re-tell the events as they happened, but I just keep crying. I mean, the tears will not stop. Then, when I've come to the end, the person I'm sharing it with begins to cry in great sobs.


So, what is my conclusion to the matter? Well, after the shock of what I just went through, and also feeling honored to have the Lord speak to me in such a way, I began to pray for clarity as to what it all meant. Dream #1, I believe to be a picture of what Jesus conquered on the cross. He overcame the Evil One and His light consumes the darkness, so we have nothing to fear! As to the meat, I believe it represents my children specifically and can include our whole family.

In the second dream, the gas station and those who worked with me represent the world and those who choose to turn away from Jesus' words and salvation message. I also see "good" things like church ministry, activities and other commitments pulling us away from what God has entrusted to me and us..."the meat". It was like in the first dream God gave me this precious package saying, "protect this" and in the second one, I see the world grasping at every straw to pull me away from it or out right steal it. My next thought was, how do I protect this meat (my children)? To which I concluded, it's only by the power of His name. That's the only way we're safe! Proverbs 18:10  says "The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe." So we call on Jesus to protect us, but also of utmost importance, is teaching God's Word to our children. That's the only other way to keep them safe in this world who hates them and wants to steal them away. We must spend the time, protect our schedules and be diligent at teaching our children the Word of God!

Finally, the third dream I believe told me to share this story anytime I can. God is always calling us to himself. I pray we are listening.

Joyous Living Meets Trudging through Daily Life

     Yesterday I truly thought life was going to smother me it seemed so heavy. My "to-do" list was a mile long, plus as I looked around my house, it was in complete chaos and disarray. At that point my daughter appears "dressed" for the day in short-sleeves and in her favorite 3 years too small shorts (current temp 40 degrees). Yep, this is the day - those are officially too small! So as I tell her those can't work anymore because of how BIG she is, the tears start. "I don't have any other pants!" she hollers. I tell her to go find something. Here's her solution... She comes back moments later with black leggings under them! How she know the fashion trend I don't know, but I tell her that's not what I asked. Feeling the rumblings of a pending earthquake inside her, I take her in my lap. "Sweetie, how about if today, you and I go thru your clothes? Pick out good ones, weed out the small and worn out ones and see what you've got for spring?" Her face lit up with excitement and her warm hug sealed the deal. Hippity-hoppity we cross the house to her room. We open the door- Ahhh! I can't even step into this room-there's no place to even put myself or the clothes. "Mackenzie," I say in the sweetest voice possible, "we can't even touch the clothes until we deal with all this," So we spent the next 3 1/2 hours cleaning, sorting and organizing my 7 year old's room. The result? Well, after 2 full sized kitchen trash bags full of trash and discarded broken stuff, the results were quite satisfying.  My stomach was in one of those cub scout knots Caleb like to practice and my eyes felt as if they had a baking soda and vinegar mixture put behind them, but it was conquered! And I slept soundly because of it.

    Before I left her room, I asked her, "Mack, can you work to keep it lookling closer to this and not let it get THAT bad again?" "I'll try, mom, but I'm not sure," was her reply. I love her honesty.

     Messy rooms and messy hearts share some commonality. For one, they don't usually get there overnight - although having a group of kids over can surly do some immediate damage, as can a late night, foolish adult decision. But as for the usual, everyday life goes, if you leave yesterdays clothes on the floor rather than in the dirty clothes basket, before long, you've got a pile of clothes on the floor! Well, if we leave yesterday's hurts, disappointments or bad attitudes unattended and lying around, they build up just like laundry. In fact, they can even take root and grow (laundry only seems to!) Daily pick up in our rooms and daily pick ups in our heart leave our surroundings in a better place for fruits like love, joy and peace to grow! It really is important to clean up after ourselves after all.

      As I was about to blow with all that had to be done that day, I kept praying Jesus' words in Mat 11:28. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

     "Lord, I don't know what I'm carrying then, because this is HEAVY!" The verse would echo back again, "Come to me. Come to me. Lay it down here. That's mine to carry." Then I would counter, "But I'm really strong Lord, I've been exercising. I crushed P90X plyos the other day." "Do you want to carry that?" came the reply. "No, Lord, you can have it - here, I lay it down. You are my Lord and I trust in you!"

     When I begin to weary under the burden I'm carrying, it's time to stop, and do some heart cleaning. Just like I couldn't sort clothes until I had a place to sort, sometimes I can't go forward until I off-load my burdens.

Inheritance - A savings account of bunny blankets

My baby girl. She is one of the three most precious things ever laid in my arms! Ahh, just her smell  ~ which usually resembled more of a spit-up, dried milk mixture than sweet smelling baby magic soap! My little girl would never take a pacifier - no sirree, she'd gag herself half to death every time we tried. One day though, we found the magic pill. It was a blanket. I know there's many out there, but this particular blanket was soft flannel with silky smooth ribbon all around the edges. I think the original one was baby blue with a furry bunny rabbit in the middle. Oh how she loved that stinky thing! Immediately the ribbon trim was intricately woven around her little fingers, stuck in her mouth and all was well! There was only one problem. After a nap, that blanket would be soaking wet - not a dry spot one to suck on. That sweet little ladybug would stagger out of her room, blanket in hand, tears streaming down her cheeks,  "Mommy there's no dry spots left." Ugh, the waft of rank, wet slobber confirmed her words. There was only one treatment... the washing machine. So you can imagine the pure delight of this little girl when a "brand new" clean blanket would magically appear out of the dryer covered in dry spots! She'd instantly snatch it up, snuggle in her mouth and head to lay down on the couch. Then, before she'd get up to go play, we'd hear her say, "Daddy, will you save this dry spot for me? She literally expected us to hold that dry spot among the soiled for her until she returned - which she did, expecting to receive it! Sweet girl.

You know, there's a few things in this life I'd just love to hold onto and save forever. The moments like those with Mackenzie and my other kids and family members that are so precious. I think God has a treasure box waiting for me in Heaven filled with moments like these that I will cherish again in His presence. But then there's other things, tangible, comfort-me things of this world that I also like to hold onto and save. My comforts, my treasures, my trophies. On these things, my fingers unintentionally clasp around too tightly in efforts to save. Grasping and clasping, "that's mine, stay away," just like my children do. Lord, will you peel my fingers away from those things and place them instead on You and Your Word! I heard the words of Luke 9:24 in my mind, " For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." Instead of putting my money into a purse with holes in it, God offers me - us - this: "Do not be afraid little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. " Luke 12:32-34

Mackenzie's treasure was on that dry spot of her beloved blanket. What is my treasure on? Where is yours? Only when we release that, can we truly save it. And only by His grace!

Hearing problems???

"There's an eye in my ____!"

   We had just moved into our new house. Ahhh, there was so much more room to spread out now and I was so excited to have a playroom. As if the space wasn't enough, the playroom also had this magical feature called a door that I could shut when the volume inside the room moved up to HERE! I always wished  it closed automatically!! But anyway, One evening, Caleb was excused to go play in there while Adam and I and baby Mackenzie finished up eating dinner. After a while though, Adam and I noticed it was quiet. (That's always a problem!) So Adam got up to investigate. He walked in to find Caleb, who's 3, jumping up and down with 2 fingers pressed to his ear. Then he would stop jumping, shake his ear with his fingers and whisper in a little boy voice, "There's an eye in my ear." "Hmmm, what did you say son?" Adam replied. To which Caleb did it all over again... jump, jump, jiggle, jiggle and whisper, "There's an eye in my ear." "There's an eye in your ear?" Adam repeated back. Caleb nods yes in between his repeated act. What do you do in a situation like this? Grab a flashlight and check it out! Laying the child on the couch, Dad peers in. It didn't take long to discover that yes, Caleb was right. He had an eye in his ear! One of those googly eyes from a craft project! Adam carefully removed the foreign object (don't try this at home!) and we have laughed about it ever since!

  Afterward, I realized why Caleb was jumping up and down. That jiggling googly eye was loud when pressed against his ear drum! Then when he stopped he had to make sure it was still there by jiggling it again. Which makes me think one step deeper, because God loves to use the common everyday things to speak to me, when I listen... Things sound really loud when they're up close.  I'm actually stealing that one from my husband, but it's so true! So simple, yet so profound, just like him. That eye sounded really loud because it was really close! But in reality, at a "normal" distance, you'd barely notice it. So here's my application and challenge: What in life is blaring loud and getting my attention? Is it loud because it's important or because it's on my eardrum? Am I paying attention to what's most important or just loudest? God usually whispers to me. Dishes, laundry and errands scream at me. I'm finding, though that when I spend time listening to God FIRST, the other things go back to a normal voice and they are sorted in order of importance.

    Father, help us hear your whisper, even when everyday life screams at us. May we hear your voice and follow after those things close to your heart! We need your help to do that. On our own we jump from  fire to fire and at the end come up empty. Breathe your breath of life in our days, I pray.   Amen

Grace and Truth

   With the dawn of the new day, it was obvious my plans for the day were going to have to take a back seat. After attempting some needed and routine morning chores, I decided that today we would read and work on school from the comfort of my couch. Every time I got up and tried to do more, my body just wouldn't let me! When lunch time rolled around, I reheated some mac-n-cheese and added in the last of the bacon. The smell of bacon always draws my kids in, so when they were assembled in the kitchen to receive their bowls, I said, "I'm sorry I'm not feeling good today. Thank you for letting me get some rest and playing so kindly on your own." To this they all smiled, but Zach said, "It's OK Mommy, we can just live on our own!" Laughing at his precious comment, I visualized what it would look like for a 3 year old to live on his own. It was be all fun and games until he needed a band aid!

   It reminded me though, how important motherhood is! God did not give us our children by mistake! I just heard some encouraging words from Sally Clarkson at her Mom Heart conference over the weekend. Since you can never have enough of those,  I thought I would pass along the encouragement...

   It's wonderful to be in a place among 800 women and hear speakers like Kat Lee say, "Moms are a big deal!" She reminded me that, "God doesn't want my credentials, He wants my commitment." We see that with His choosing of the disciples. We don't bring anything to the table, He works through us. Another speaker, Sarah Mae, who co-wrote a book with Sally Clarkson called Desperate, pointed out the fact that we are just clay. And clay doesn't mold itself. We don't expect our ball of play-dough to stand up and start making itself into animals and intricate sculptures. It takes a designer. In the same way, my children cannot mold them self either. Here's where my job as a mother comes in and my reliance on my Heavenly Father is exercised. He is the potter, we are the clay. We can inspire our children to be apart of God's story by building a strong relationship with them based on unconditional love and trust. We can tell and show them who God is and that He loves them and has a purpose for their life. Maybe God will use them one day like He used Daniel. How even the King wanted to know Daniel's God because of Daniel's faith! Maybe our daughters can be like Ester who took 3 days to pray before she approached the King's throne. Sally's daughter Sarah said, "All of us can be a hero or heroine in the story of God." Our culture shies away from this fact, but as mothers, we can boldly proclaim it!

   Some other words of wisdom from Sally herself... "Grace without truth is puff-ball. Truth without grace is legalism." And on the subject of discipline, "Law with love creates protection, but without love is legalism." She also said that we have a grid that we look at life through. That grid is shaped by our philosophies and biblical foundations. She says, without this grid in place, "we will by nature go the way of culture" - of the world, our friends, what our church or neighbors say. So what am I allowing into the grid of my mind? That is also likely to be the grid to my children's mind. What do they see when they look in my eyes? Can they see I believe Jesus? Can they see I love them? I remember as a small child the impact my mom had on me. Even before the age of remembrance, her great faith caused me to "want her Jesus in my heart". How we look at them, how we esteem them and our views of eternity have an impact! It's clearer than ever to me how important it is to lead my children and that God has called ME to that job. 

  That's why it's also important for us moms to fuel ourselves so that we have food to give our kids. If our cup is continually pouring out, eventually it runs dry. I was encouraged to search and find my source of encouragement and not let my cup run dry. A dry parched mother really doesn't do anyone good!  I have found much love and truthful encouragement in Sally Clarkson's WholeHeart ministry. I pray you find yours.

   Even though Zach is only 3 now, eventually he will move out on his own. What am I doing today that will influence and equip him for tomorrow and the next?

Frequent SLUG Sightings

   I'm not exactly sure when or how it started, but for a couple YEARS now my children have had this "thing" where they make a very loud interjection when we see something on the road. It could come at any moment... in the middle of a conversation, or song, or even silence a raging fit (yes, we do have those). Any guesses? It's the sound of "SLUG BUG!" Which is usually followed with "Ahhh, where? Is it parked?" or "I saw it first, just didn't say anything!" All at once whatever control I had over the air pressure in the car just combusted into a noise bomb and there's no turning back!

    This incident makes me smile and so I had to write it down on my favorite quote list, but honestly had no idea how to link this quirk to a deeper spiritual meaning. That is, until I read through the Psalms this morning. The thought hit me, or rather, God whispered to me, "What if you pointed out all the blessings I give you like they point out 'SLUG BUG?'" Ohhhh. Yes, maybe I wouldn't wait for just the right time or wonder if my audience will appreciate it and just burst out, "Guess what God did for me today!" Actually, He doesn't even have to DO anything. He already finished it all, we just get daily glimpses or reminders of His glory each day. Why am I so timid to share that? My kids aren't!

    Maybe our praise could silence the criticism and judgments that seems to mark our Christianity  If our mouths were continually filled with His praise, there would be less room for gossip and slander. If praise colored my world, I would see the evidences of God all around me instead of items NOT crossed off my list. I would see that my debt is paid and He is with me even in the hurt, the pain and the "hill of difficulty" that I climb.

Ps 52:9 

"I will praise you forever for what 

you have done;

in your name I will hope, for

your name is good.

I will praise you in the presence of 

your saints."

   In an ecosystem of praise, discord, slander and gossip cannot dwell together! The very nature of Praise will uproot all vines and parasites our flesh naturally grows. The Word also tells us in Ps 34:2 that our praises can lift even the afflicted and help them rejoice too! Our fertile soil naturally grows and spreads and can affect the soils around us. 

   Here's a challenge: Read through a Psalm (or multiple ones) and count the ways the Psalmist calls us to Praise. Then go and do one TODAY. 

   Remember, the next time you see a "SLUG BUG!" remember what God has done for you!

Eternal Time Zones

   Time to a 4 year old can be comical. It has no meaning to them. They have no frame work in their brains of what a minute or a second, day, week or year means. I mean 1 year to them is 1/4 of their life - might as well be forever! :)

   We used to have a rule in our house that "wake up time" is 7:00. This allowed Mom, who's not a morning person, to wake up earlier and have some quiet time. In my husband's words...just as you don't wake a sleeping bear, you don't wake the sleeping mommy! We would remind the kids of this wake up time frequently before bed and they had a clock in their room with stickers indicating 7:00. Sounds complicated,. but it actually worked quite well. So one night after prayers, on the way to bed, Mackenzie mumbles almost in a teenager tone, "What does 7:00 even mean anyway!?" At that moment I realized it meant nothing - absolutely nothing to a 4 year old!

   Have you ever noticed how God's timing isn't our timing? I have! It's like The Chronicles of Narnia. When Lucy walks through the back of that wardrobe and into Narnia, time in the world behind her stops. This can really confuse our finite minds and cause us to doubt God.

"Where are you Lord? I need you right now!"

The disciples had an encounter similar to this in Mat 14:22-37. They were out in the middle of a lake and caught in a raging storm. Helpless to the buffeting waves, they wait for help. Midnight...1:00...2:00...3:00...4:00... When suddenly a figure appears out on the water, walking towards them. "Is it a ghost?" they cry. No, instead the voice replies, " It is I. Don't be afraid." Ahh. Jesus is here! But they still weren't sure. Peter says, "Lord if it's you, tell me to come you on the water." And Jesus does. Peter goes walking out to him on the water. He's doing good, until he sees the waves. Then he begins to sink. Jesus reaches out His hand to help and says, " You of little faith. Why did you doubt?"

   Why do I doubt? The disciples had Jesus with them physically and still doubted. Sometimes I just get tired of waiting out in the middle of the lake and by the 4th watch of the night, I'm tired and ready to take matters into my own hands! Other times, I think God shows up in my circumstances and I fail to recognize Him. But I love how this story ends. After Jesus and Peter climb back into the boat, the wind dies down. And it's at that moment those who were in the boat worshiped Jesus, proclaiming, "Truly you are the Son of God." I'm so thankful that God is patient with me and tenderly cares for me. He stays with me and keeps working and then finally, I get it and have to say, "Truly you are the One True God!"

   God's timing is seldom our own, and "what does 7:00 even mean anyway!?"

Dealing with the "Don't want to's"

   Zach went through a phase of not wanting to pick up his toys after playing with them or really doing anything else we asked! He would just look at me and say, "But Mommy, I just don't want to." Even though I appreciated his honesty, of course we have to do things we don't want to sometimes. This conversation caused me to look inward and examine my heart. I saw that I can do the same thing. Why is it that as a mother God works on my heart as I work on my child's heart!?

 "When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. 2 Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb 3 and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?” Mark 16:1-3


    Who will roll the stone away? Was it even humanly possible to roll that stone away? Plus, it was under Roman guard; would they even allow these devoted women to enter? These questions perplexed the visitors, but did not inhibit their actions. They loved Jesus, and were still showing it. And Jesus blew them away in His response. When we go searching for Jesus, He never lets us down! Upon arriving at the tomb, they found the stone to be rolled away with a man clothed in something like lightening sitting on the stone. Fear grips the women, as it also did the fainted guards, but seeing their fear, the angel gives them hope, "Do not be afraid! The man you are looking for has risen! Just as He said He would! And now, GO - Go tell the disciples what I told you. Jesus will meet you in Galilee." (my own words of Mark 16:6-7)
  
 *** "But Mommy, I just don't want to."***   What if the angel's crazy and it's really a trick by the chief priests? What if no one believes me?

   What would've happened if the women had responded to their fear and fled? Probably the same thing that already happened! They just would've missed the blessing of being apart of the miracle! That's also what happens to us when we dismiss the Word of God - we miss being apart of the miracles! We think our way is better. God's not asking us to do something to puff up His self-esteem. He asks us because He loves us and because He has good things planned for us - and others. When we don't listen and obey Him, besides the consequences disobedience brings, He'll ask someone else! His plan will be accomplished! For some reason, He gave us the free-will to choose whether we're on board or not!

   Forgive your brother not 7 times, but 77 times (mat 18:21-22)... or EVERYTIME he sins against you. He  tells us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. And love those we live, work and play with as our self. (Mark 12:30-31) We are blessed when we follow these and watch God work miracles in and through us! He is the One who moves the stones away in our life. We have the privilege of being like Mary, who just wanted one more time with Jesus and came to bring spices to his body.  Zach had to learn to do what Mommy asked, even when he didn't want to, and when we surrender our "don't want to's", then, we can play apart of the eternal!

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Ps 139:23-24