Quite, Quiet, QUIT!!

"Tickle me Daddy, tickle me!" squeals a bubbling over contagious giggler of about 3 years of age. As the arms descend upon the anticipated ticklish spot, the request changes to, "Stop...Daddy....Stop....Tickling... Me!"By this time, he's barely able to speak - spluttering, kicking - the usual hilarious scene.
"Tickle me Daddy, tickle me! No, no, stop tickling me!"

In many of my prayers, I ask the Lord to grant me strength for the day. I ask for His wisdom to shepherd my children along the path of righteousness. I need His insight and understanding into their hearts and the ability to discern the under currents swirling around me. Also, not forgetting joy and peace in all situations; that God's light would shine through me and our family. So when I find myself in a situation where my children are continually picking at one another, starving animals because the chores are undone, clothes I asked to be folded, scattered about the floor, cementing breakfast dishes still on the table, and the clock telling me it's almost noon... I think, Lord, we are so far from where I'm striving to be! What is going on?! I can't do this! I am a failure.

My early envisions of being a mother consisted of the fuzzy precious moments holding a sleeping baby while the 3 year old sibling snuggles under my other arm and whispers "I love you". All the while my oldest child clears the table and wipes down the counter, then asks what else he can to serve me! As a homeschooling family my thoughts went something like children pouring over their books, eager for every word and losing sleep at the thought of learning fractions tomorrow. We would work together as a team to accomplish a project and cheer each other on as we build - "Tickle me Daddy, tickle me!"

And for a small fraction of time those beautiful moments do happen. But what I didn't configure or imagine was the in-between stuff to make it happen. AKA, reality! The sleeping baby eventually awakens and stays up all night. The 3 year old who came to snuggle with me was covered in some kind of goo he found and gave the baby a rash. The family project we worked on - maybe it's finished, but now there's permanent marker on the floor, glue on the walls, cut paper strips everywhere and we can't find the table! Plus Dad's coming home for lunch in 10 minutes! AAAHHHH! "No, Daddy, stop tickling me!"

I find that the ebb and flow of parenting and homeschooling can leave me feeling as if the tide just went out and left me with all the broken shells and junk from the water. I feel exposed - my weakness and inabilities laying bare for all to see and pick up. Paul says in 2 Cor 11:30, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." Wow! I don't want to boast of my weakness! I would just rather not have them! But it's in these weaknesses - the "No Daddy, stop tickling me" moments where the Power of Christ is made perfect in me. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10) And, that is only accomplished by the Power of God!

Pretty Scales

Enthrall: verb. to hold spellbound;captivate. Absorb, charm, hook, intrigue, mesmerize....

What enthralls us? What holds us spellbound, captivated? Intrigues our attention, mesmerizes our thoughts as to drown out all else around? Adam and I were watching an old Andy Griffith show the other night and they used that word to describe the beauty of a tropical island, surrounded by turquoise

waters and studded with swaying palm trees. One of the characters dropped all he knew and flew there to live an easy, carefree life with no deadlines, alarm clocks or mundane tasks. Just stare at the ocean and swing on a hammock...for that's all you need in life. Unfortunately his stay was short-lived, after seeing the crusty, unfulfilled effects of prolonged island life on the other inhabitants, he hopped aboard the first plane back home. So maybe he took it a little overboard, but God's creation does enthrall us. That's what it's meant to do! When I look at the mountains, I see God's glory, not an end result of millions of years. The stars pour out speech of His infinite power. The seas, and all the life within, flow of his faithfulness and all sustaining power. I stand enthralled at His beauty.

With that in mind, I came across a scripture passage that spoke loudly to me. Ps.45:11 NIV says, "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." I am beautiful to my King! He created me by design and on purpose and He looked at me and called me "good". I am precious and honored by Him. No matter what the outside appearance reveals, I am laid bare before him and beautiful. I am His child, a daughter of the King; He is my Savior. Commercials advertise "age-defying" moisturizer, and wrinkle covering make-up, fashion minded shirts and pants to cover the imperfections of our figure. Underneath all that still lies who we are as a person. Nothing can cover up or embellish who Julie Steck is. God sees past it all, into our hearts. Like the woman at the well, caught in sin. Jesus saw her beauty as one of His daughters and extended His love and grace to her, telling her to drink from Him, the source of Living Water. He explained to her how those who drink the water from the well they were sitting at would be thirsty again. However, those who drink the water He supplies will be fully satisfied and never thirsty. (John 4) Now before we all let the well run dry, consider the spiritual meaning of those words.

My sweet daughter, Mackenzie used to tell me, "Mommy, you're pretty in scales." Which she picked up from Adam telling me I was covering up all my pretty with make-up. She jumped on his train of thought and scales was as bare-boned as she could think of, so coined that phrase. While I kinda like the sprucing up make-up and fixed hair add, I do appreciate the reminder that it's not about the outward appearance, it's about the heart. Under it all are just scales...and they are beautiful to my Maker.

OOPS....NEVER-MIND!

I remember playing Nintendo games growing up. When my game wasn't going how I anticipated, I would reach over and push the reset button and just start over! Never-rmind, I'll show you, you stupid game! Well that's what came to mind when Zach coined this comical phrase. He will start randomly calling out, "Hey Daddy..." "Yes, son," Dad replies. *Pause* *Pause* *Pause* As if he was thinking something really important, our anticipation rising. Then finally, "Never- mind!" "OOOHH goodness, you got me buddy," we have to reply as the anticipation drops to the floor. He even likes to change it up a bit to really catch you off guard. "Hey Mom," he hollers from another room. " Yeah," I say. I'll hear him come charging towards me and peek his head in, "Never-mind!" "GGGGRRRRR, I'll get you," I say, which is probably why he does it in the first place. He likes the response he gets, the little jokester!

While Zach likes the game, I mused at how I'd like to pull that card out of the deck of life sometimes. Like when I blow it and really fly off the handle at someone....OOPS, Never-mind! Or go shopping and come home with lots more than I really need.... OOPS, Never-mind that bill honey! Or when I commit to doing something and really don't have the time or ability to follow through.... OOPS! Did I say that?! Never-mind me! I sometimes encourage my kids to "start-over" when their question or answer had a funny twang to it that didn't sit right with me. But do I allow myself the grace to start over? How can I begin anew when I've really messed things up? When I've been walking down a road that I should've turned around miles ago? Where do I go? To the Restorer of broken dreams. My Kinsman Redeemer. The One who says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten...Then you will know....that I am the Lord your God, and there is  no other; never again will my people be shamed" (Joel 2:25, 27) 

The times I mess up, the foolish choices I make no matter how big or small - God restores them. He's like a painter who find a beautiful original painting at the bottom of a rubbish heap. He identifies the painting for what it is, gently lifts it up out of the ashes and takes it home. After weeks, or months, or even years, he's cleaned it all up. He's touched up the color that was faded or chipped, the background that was torn. He takes His time, scraping away the ugly from years of misuse or tragedy and reapplying what is needed to finally present it restored, even beyond it's original beauty. He trades the ashes for beauty. And the best part is it's never too late. "Even now, declares the Lord, return to me with all your heart..." (Joel 2:12) He is the restorer of what the locusts eat. In other words what, comes in and devours my best efforts in one fierce swoop. What other god can match that? OOPS, never-mind.... NO ONE!!