HEAT

I was a runner in High School. But that was 1.5 decades ago, 3 births, 36 months of nursing, 15 birthdays, 5,475 days of marriage, countless meals, sleepless nights and lullabies ago, so it doesn't really matter! About a month ago, the Lord nudged me, challenged me rather, to roll out of bed before the rooster crows and meet Him on the road. Finally, I had ignored Him and slept in long enough, so I set the alarm and committed to obey this voice in my head. Either I was completely crazy and one run would be enough or the Lord really was speaking to me and I would grow in this process. First morning I couldn't sleep, for thinking of how early that alarm would go off and how terrible I would feel if I didn't get to sleep! Let's just say I saw 2 am and the alarm was set for 5:30. That's not much sleep for this must-have-8-hours-of-sleep connoisseur.

After jogging regularly for a month now, I feel my body getting stronger, but more importantly, my prayer has been for the Lord to train me to be Godly. "Teach me to listen to your voice", I have prayed. Physical conditioning is important to health and vitality of my days, but spiritual conditioning will endure beyond this earthly body. So, no headphones, no agenda, just me and the birds, listening to my Savior.

At first, just the task of running overwhelmed me. I set my goal and measured my course for 2 miles, but even prayed that if the Lord had a plan for me to go a different route or a different amount of miles I would listen and obey that. Of course my first thought was to the worst - that He'd want me to go 5 miles tomorrow and I just wouldn't be able to do that. But then, on the other hand maybe He would say 1 mile and I'd have an easy day. It was 2 miles throughout the entire 1st week and that was hard physically for me, especially on 5 hours or less of sleep. I wanted to stop MANY times, but prayed for the Lord to strengthen me, and He kept my feet moving one in front of the other. I was amazed, though at how I was still able to function, even with joy, in my day. He completely multiplied my strength as I obeyed.

The object I noticed first, UNDENIABLY was the sun. It would just be peaking over the horizon line as I crested over the hill and set out with fields stretched out on both sides. Instantly, when that sun breaks through you feel it's heat. Everything does, nothing is exempt.

I thought about the "heat" I've felt in my own life. Pressure and trouble in relationships, decisions, haunting thoughts of "what-ifs", responsibilities....the list could go on. I felt an impression on my heart that said, "I am the heat you've been feeling". No, God doesn't BRING us hardship, as in the context of being MEAN. Rather, He ALLOWS them, as fiery furnace for gold or a crucible for silver, to bring out the impurities within, and with the goal of making of making us holy. I should rejoice in that heat, for He is there! My life cannot be hidden from His heat if I am His child! I should be worried if I DIDN'T feel His heat, for those whom the Lord loves, He disciplines!

Thank you Lord for your heat. The pressures in our life that MAKE us turn to you, completely rely on you. Increase our trust in you in these intense heated times of our life, that those impurities may be cleansed away and not hold us back in our walk anymore. I pray for those who are hurting and struggling today, that you would give them joy instead of ashes, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair and you would make all of us oaks of righteousness, a planting of yours for the display of your splendor! Amen

Jude 24 "To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy..."

Thief or Conquorer? Both!

"Momma, why do people steal?" asks my 8 year old cowgirl.

"Well," I respond with heaviness in my heart and a prayer of wisdom on my lips, "have you ever wanted something someone else had?"

A resounding "YES!" comes from all 3 kids in the backseat of the van.

"Well then someone who steals chose to simply take what wasn't theirs instead of working to earn the money to buy what they wanted or the lacked character to ask for it."

At that moment I realized there's a little bit of the thief in me. In me resides the inclination to steal, kill and destroy. It's a force to be reckoned with, not deny. The desire to have something that's not mine left unchecked by the Spirit could lead to robbery. Paul said it best in Romans 7 (paraphrasing), I don't do what I want to do and I do the thing I don't want to do! There's a battle going on inside my soul everyday! Will I choose to walk in my flesh and gratify my human nature - which FEELS really good and satisfies for the moment, yet leaves me out to dry once the moment's over? Or will I walk in the Spirit - putting aside my SCREAMING demands and obey the still small voice?

Have you ever had a screaming child in the car? You're driving home and about 10 minutes away your infant wakes up, STARVING! What can you do besides speed up a few notches and maybe rock the car from side to side? Driving while nursing is definitely NOT recommended! You know the child will survive 10 more minutes, even though he/she does not.

It's the same way with our walk. My flesh can scream out at me to give in and satisfy my emotion - which is no different than stealing a candy bar from the gas station. That's why Jesus went to the cross. To embody all the sin of the thief, the murderer, the adulterer, the liar. It all died with Him! Then He walked out of the grave and offers us His hand to join Him. We 'walk in the Spirit" when we realize the depth of our sinful nature, (our speck) stop pointing out our brothers saying we could never do that, and choose to say "It's only by YOUR powers Jesus I'm not the thief right now! Lead me, Help me to follow you...because without YOU I am NOTHING!

And it gets better...God says to me His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness. He says I am more than a conqueror through Jesus. He says He will lead me in triumphal procession in Christ and spread everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. He says He will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is steadfast on Him. God tells me the moment I look to Him, I am saved. I have the mind of Christ, the spirit of sonship and can call the LORD of all, Daddy. I am His daughter. He says nothing can separate me from His love. Not my fears, not my thoughts, not the fear of my thoughts...nothing....nothing....nothing. I am His and He is mine.

Yes, I am capable of the worst of sins - I could do it all in a heartbeat. I may feel guilty in the morning, but don't we all? Paul shares a similar story in Romans 7:14-24 and ends with these words, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our LORD!

John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

Life Stitches

Why do I love to sew you ask? Ahhh, let me count the ways… #1 It connects me with my mom and grandmother. #2 Sewing allows me to use my creativity on something other than my kids and husband. #3 It sucks me into a time warp where suddenly I don’t feel hungry, tired or worried about life. All I can think about is the next stitch and how excited I am to see the finished product!! Sewing is not something I take lightly, actually, I don’t take anything lightly, and so sewing obviously is no different! I also race to finish things, so I’m terrible at a seeing fabric draped over the machine waiting patiently for me to have time for it. I just part the waters of life, sit down and SEW. All of that to say it was one of those “sewing weeks” as we call it in my house, and this was one of the last pieces to make. It was a sleep shirt. Simple… Easy… Right? Sort – of. I’d done this pattern before but always messed up on the neckline. I thought I had figured it out and was excited to get to the dreaded part, confident I knew what to do now. This wouldn’t take long! Did I mention it was about 9pm…kids in bed…long day…husband feeling a little lonely due to “sewing week”?? Well, that’s just a minor detail anyway. So here we are…the neck seam and I had it figured out. I pinned. I checked. I double checked. Finally I begin to sew, carefully and slowly because I’m working with a knit fabric and a knit stitch that is almost impossible to rip out if it’s not right. Excitedly I do the final backstitch, cut the strings and examine my work. My heart says, thump, thump, thump… “NOOOOOOO” My idea was not correct, I had stitched the whole thing wrong again! So instead of snuggling next to my husband clothed in a homemade shirt, I, through clenched teeth and watering eyes undid tiny stitches until my eyes couldn’t see anymore and my stomach was in knot. Not the rewarding feeling I was looking for.

The next morning I woke up and after breakfast picked up right where I left off. That’s when it hit me…

As the “creator” of this sleep shirt, there’s really no mess up, no stitch that I can’t take out. Even if I messed up the whole thing or cut it in two, I could always buy more fabric and do it again, because I have the PATTERN.

Then I related it to MY life. There’s no stitch, no marks, no cuts that God can’t fix. He has the pattern. He is my CREATOR, therefore, I cannot mess up His masterpiece. Because actually, in my mess up, He becomes MORE. You see that zig zag stitch there? That’s where I started to veer off the right, chasing after the wind and God had to do some extra stitches there. You see that my right sleeve is a different shade then the left? That’s because I sewed it on backward. God decided to leave it as a reminder that He comes first and when I’m abiding with him, I’m going to look different than those around me. You see that neckline? All the holes because the stitches were taken out so many times it put holes in the fabric? There wasn’t a way to pull out the stitches (things in my life not honoring Him) without pulling out what was around it and leaving a hole. Yes, I’m a mess. But I’m God’s mess, and He’s not finished with me yet!!!

How can you relate that to your life? What stitches have needed to be ripped out? Or maybe left in to remember He is perfect, we are not. I pray you will let God be your Creator. I pray you dance in the freedom of His arms. I feared messing up for so long it stunted by ability to dance with Him. He loves us with an everlasting love. If you are in Christ, He loves you just as you are today. We can embrace that truth and let Him create us as He will. 

Roses, Shakespheare and Names

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet..." questions Juliet to Romeo in Shakespeare's famous play. Juliet pours out her love in hopes that they can defy the fate their names will inevitably bring. Would a rose smell as sweet if it weren't called a rose? That may have to be a discussion for a different blogger, but it does pose the question...what power is there in a Name? What about in a Word?

Although Romeo and Juliet only lived on the stages of Shakespeare's plays, that line came to mind as I read about the power of God's Name and His Word.

My youngest child, Zach, had a bad dream the other night. When that happens, he doesn't join his brother on the top bunk or slide in with his sister across the hall. No, without hesitation he sets out on the trek through the living room and past the office, in the dark, to Mom and Dad's room. There, finally safe, he can squeeze almost invisibly under the covers next to mom and it will be several moments until she realizes his presence and several more before she's coherent enough to respond in any way! But Mom and Dad's room holds some kind of power for him. Either bad dreams aren't possible there or because he's with us, or, when the bad dreams come, he won't be scared.

God's Name holds the same power for us. When life spins us in a bad, real-life dream, do we long to be in the Presence of the Almighty who will either command it to go away or walk with us through the dark, giving us Supernatural armor and might to defend the invading army?

My children have been memorizing the armor of God passage in Ephesians 6 this year. There's some hidden secrets way back in the book of Exodus 28 that add depth to our breastplate of righteousness. And, yes, it also has to do with names...

Exodus 28:35 begins, "Fashion a breast piece for making decisions - the work of a skilled craftsman." It goes on in detail of the gold, twisted linen and specific dimensions of this piece. Then, there was to be four rows of precious stones, each "engraved like a seal with the names of one of the 12 tribes." Attaching to the breast piece by rings and blue cord was the ephod, which also held engraven names. This connected the two pieces so that the breast piece would stay in place and not move around. Here's the neat part - verse 29 says, "Whenever Aaron enters the Holy Place, he will bear the names of the sons of Israel over his heart." Since Old Testament times our hearts have needed to be covered. Now, not only do Aaron and the priests have the names of the 12 tribes covering them (a foreshadowing of Jesus Christ's perfect covering to come) but they also have something holy stuck to them as they make decisions. Those names should spur them to make decisions based on whose they belong to (the Great I AM) and to glorify Him.

Compare this account with Ephesians 6:14 which says, "Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place." Why is it righteous? Because it has Jesus' name inscribed on the front and it's in place! That breast piece enables me to stand before the God of the Universe as blameless! Also, as I make decisions I have the reminder that I carry that name with me and the power it possesses.

The names of those who have trust Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior are written in the Lamb's Book of Life (Revelation 3:5 & 20:15) One day our name will be called and looked up in that book. At that time, no matter what credibility or disqualifications you feel your earthly name bears, we must be associated with the NAME and the WORD. Will your name be found? Hear Jesus calling you in the words of Revelation 3:20, " Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." His words are not a catchy phrase from a famous playwright, they are the WORDS of LIFE.

More than new curtains

I resist change. Even good change. It shakes my being like an earthquake. My wants and desires fall from the shelves and break like china against the invisible force. I'm more of a variety girl - keep the structure steady and unchanging and allow me the freedom to paint the walls, sew new curtains or re-arrange the furniture as I'd like. Unfortunately, if I call myself a disciple of Jesus Christ, that requires CHANGE. Here's what I mean...

In Philippians 3:13b-14, Paul exhorts us to FORGET what lies behind and STRAIN toward what is ahead as we press on toward the goal. In the previous verses, Paul states that he considers ALL his earthly riches a LOSS compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ as LORD. He considers them "rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own....but one through faith." (Phil 3:8,9)

Do you hear the change that MUST take place? Consider another passage:

Matthew 9:16-17 Jesus says, "No one sews a patch of un-shrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

And one more...

Matthew 18:3 "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven."

Before new wine can be useful and preserved, the old skin must be thrown away. Before we can STRAIN toward what is ahead, we must FORGET and THROW OUT what lay behind. Before we can KNOW the surpassing greatness of Christ, we mush consider all things a LOSS. Before we can ask Christ to be our LORD and Master, we must first CONFESS and REPENT. We get to trade in our old way of life for Jesus' new beginning. Variety won't cut it here. Moving around the same old habits and patterns while keeping the same framework isn't change. That's a mask. Masks must be ripped off. This is CHANGE.

Here the internal struggle begins. It's called Spirit-filled vs Flesh. Our flesh wants nothing more than to hold on tightly to our old ways, old thinking patterns, old stand-bys. It won't RELEASE without a FIGHT. With reminders of past sights, smells, tastes and feelings, our flesh grasps to keep the flame of the old self alive. It's in that moment we must die to ourself, turn around (aka change), and accept the good news Jesus offers. Do you know what that good news is? The power of sin and our flesh is BROKEN by the POWER of the CROSS for all who believe.

Change may rock us to the core and leave us bare-shelved and broken. Thankfully, the CHOICE to change comes from us, but the POWER of transformation belongs to CHRIST alone. Will you join me in this journey of change? The price is high...in fact it may cost everything! But the end result is so much better than new curtains or re-arranged furniture.

Philippians 3:20-21 "But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the LORD Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under  his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."